Additional Email

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Nobody Asked Me/Giveaway - Fictional Men Are Ruining Everything!

I read a lot of romance. Nearly everything I read its one form of romance or another. Even
the horror books have romance in them. 

Isn’t that what life is?


Tension breaker, had to be done. Ok, seriously people. I am human. I’m a single mom. I’m a blogger. I’m a reader. I’m a romance reader. And these fictional leading men are seriously ruining the game for real life men.

Never once has a man I’ve loved anguished over me for as long as it takes. Never has a man given up everything to be with me, taken that giant leap of faith that almost assures his complete demise only to find out he always had it all. Never has a man made that grand gesture, that final play, that big speech, that special thing that will win me over forever. Never has.... If only he would, right? 

As it is asked in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: What happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted? Well, he lived happily ever after. 

In real life my dating life is much more bleak, when you compare it to the daring love lives of those we read about. The men I date don’t shift into a wolf or a ferocious jungle cat. They don’t drop fangs to taste the one drop of my blood that will ultimately change their life forever. They don’t battle the raging fires of hell to be by my side. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t bad - but they aren’t that special guy that makes my heart explode like every book boyfriend I've ever had does.

So here I am, I’m waiting for that guy. I’m assuming he will just come knock on my door, or I will bump into him at the grocery store or something. Won’t I? And when the “right one” comes along, will I be able to look past all of his obvious lack of Alpha Male Main Character Qualities? What if he doesn’t growl, doesn’t profess, “Mine”, doesn’t absolutely fall to pieces when I’m not around? What will happen? Will I pass him by?


But at least I still have my “fictional” Alpha Males. And they are setting that bar awfully damn high.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not seriously complaining... at least, I don't think so.  I'm in love with so many of the leading men in my books, I couldn't give them up for anything.  But is it too much to ask that men in real life emulate every single aspect of the fictional men I love so much???  Hahaha, didn't think so :)

Oh, and simply because I forgot last week... Remember a couple weeks ago when I had blogger block and couldn't start this post?  Well, I did manage to write a poem about it.  Cause yes, dear Viriginia, I am that awesome. 

There once was a blogger from The D
Who started a feature called "Nobody Asked Me!"
An interesting editorial she wanted to write, 
But finding the words was certainly a fight!

With a huff and a puff she sat at her keyboard, 
But soon was distracted by television's zombie horde
And that was that for the night!

I know.  Awesome, right?  Try to contain your enthusiasm. Now for the giveaway!! After last week's awesome response about swag I gathered some very official data:  People Don't Always Want Bookmarks. So this week's giveaway has no bookmarks, trading cards, brochures, or post cards!!  It's pens (you will be writing a lot), magnets, stickers, tattoos, lip balm, a button, a calendar, a bracelet, some brush cleaner thingy (I feel like I should know what this is for), charms, a nail file... I think that's it?  Lots of awesome stuff!!!  So go on, enter!  This runs internationally, and I'll pick a winner on Wednesday :)

a Rafflecopter giveaway


  1. Anna@herding catsMarch 7, 2013 at 12:43 AM

    Gah Liz they so do set the bar high! You know that was one of the things on my mind this week after an oh so captivating text of... "hey" that I got from a "boy" trying to catch my eye. Really now? lol We need to just start handing out our favorite romance heroes so they can maybe catch a clue. ;)

  2. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 7, 2013 at 12:53 AM

    Then how do we get them to read it? LOL. I love those one word texts. Zsadist would never do that.

  3. Awesome post Liz...I married my soul mate but even he cannot hold a candle to some of my book boyfriends...instead he offers me moments like them. If life were like my books..I wouldn't have morning hair, he wouldn't snore and we'd be rich.

  4. Several years ago my aunt had been asked why she read romance novels and her reply was "I've got to get some romance some where because I don't get he from my husband. After we got married he decided he didn't have to try anymore because he already had me." I think that sums it up for a several couples (my husband included!). Real men get comfortable once they're married while women still want the romance part of a relationship. Besides, romance hero's are mostly written by women who know what kind of romantic hero we all want! LOL!

  5. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 7, 2013 at 8:06 AM

    These authors know all too well what we want! These romance heroes are just killing me. Even when they are big selfish jerks, they are still dreamy! How is that possible?!?

  6. I don't think fictional men are necessarily ruining things for me - I think it would be silly to expect real men to act like they do in romance novels - after all women don't really act like the women do in romance novels and seldom look like them (most of us are not size 2-4 women with 38DD's) but that said - I think that men can aspire to be more emotionally connected with the woman they are with. I think society has some how sold the average man the idea that once he's gotten the girl he's done having to prove he's worthy of the girl and that is so not the case. I think that's why romances sell so well - women need the emotional satisfaction of being told they are still worthy of being was also going to say don't complain if you've been out on a date recently...I haven't been on one in years...sigh

  7. Kristin @BookSniffersAnonymousMarch 7, 2013 at 12:22 PM

    HaHa I often find myself reading a romance novel, looking up at the Mr. thinking "why can't you be like this?" LoL Granted we're not in the 1800's nor are we in Scotland but still. Where's the passion and the huge declarations of love?

  8. I don't think they ruin it, I mean, my husband has NEVER been the romantic type. I learned early on that it just isn't in his make up! But, this way I get to have all the warm fuzzies while reading and still get the "real" life with my husband.

  9. I love what you said about society selling the average man the idea that once he's gotten the girl he's done. I totally agree. Any relationship is work, there's no such thing as being "done." Me personally, I read romances because of my disappointment in men where I'm at. I know they're not all the slobs and lazy pigs I see every day, but since I can't move yet, I'll settle for a good romance novel.

  10. Lol, I've had a scream or two at the lack of... Well, feeling from the men in my area. They are just... Horrible! They expect to be mothered by their wives or girlfriends, they don't contribute emotionally or with the upbringing of kids and they're just an overall disappointment. If you ask me, men could learn a few things from romance novels. Like how to REALLY get a woman to fall in love with them and how to keep it going.

    I'll stay with my fictional characters for a while longer until I can get out of where I'm at and find me a real man. I know they exist out there somewhere ;)

  11. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 7, 2013 at 4:52 PM

    Emotional satisfaction, yes!! :) And I'm ok with not dating for the moment! I've got my eye on a dark horse in the running, but time will tell :)

  12. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 7, 2013 at 4:53 PM

    Yikes, I am never moving to where you live!!!

    I know they exist out there, but you have to wait til you aren't looking for them - I think. Isn't that how it happens in the books?

  13. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 7, 2013 at 4:53 PM

    That's an awesome way to look at it!

  14. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 7, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    But still, would it hurt him to act, dress, and behave like a highlander??? LOL. Men!!

  15. I don't really see how we can expect real men to live up to fictional heroes of our favorite romances. We are not the heroines of the stories, or men's fantasy women either. Besides, most of the men were created by women, lol :)

  16. I don´t read books that don´t contain romance, in one shape or another, i need my HEA. I´ve got my hubby and hoping there´s a mutual HEA for us *keeping my fingers crossed*
    Thanks for the giveaway & Happy Thursday!

  17. Shi'Asia JonesMarch 7, 2013 at 7:22 PM

    I think sometimes fictional men can ruin it for the real fellas when you see a guy willing to go through so much for their one true love. Some real guys barely know how to talk to a woman. Plus fictional guys are always hot...always.

  18. I don't necessarily think fictional men are "ruining" it, per se. I do think they are making it harder for us lovelies to find exactly what we want, because what we really want isn't even a real thing. We have all these expectations that aren't met by real guys and then we keep looking so we may pass up a really good one because we have these expectations. Every once in a while after reading a romance I'll get a little down because my relationship isn't perfect like the one I read about but I get over it pretty quickly. I'm super happy with my guy and I wouldn't trade him for a fictional guy any day!

  19. I think it's a real possibility they are, but then again our stories are our own. We are the ones being loved, not these fictional girls in books!

    mestith at gmail dot com

  20. There are so many fictional men I wished were real. I do admit they make me raise my standards in them but I also try to be realistic. Hey, if real life doesn't work out at least I know there are tons of book boyfriends I can fall back on. Lol.

  21. I wish most fictional men were real...are they ruining things for real guys though??? No, maybe the real guys should start reading these amazing books with these amazing fictional men in it and take some notes. I am however very happy with my real man but that doesn't stop me from loving my fictional men either!

  22. I am a single mom too and that's one of the main reasons that I don't read much romance. Because it just isn't reality. I thought your post was funny but heartfelt and oh so true!


  23. I think that it is the women that put to much into the belief that they will make the men into characters that they read about and their thinking that their lives will end up just like the tales that they read.

  24. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 9, 2013 at 10:11 PM

    I agree with you somewhat. I wrote this to be kind of "tongue in cheek" but I guess its not coming across that way :( lol. Oh well. I had fun with it nonetheless!

  25. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 9, 2013 at 10:11 PM

    Thanks Dana! I'm glad you see the humor part of it. That was my main goal! :)

  26. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 9, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    Heck, I would be happy to find a man who reads *any* books! :)

  27. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 9, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    I agree! However, if I ever do run across a super hot werewolf with rock hard abs and an undying love for me, I won't be running away from him :)

  28. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 9, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    Excellent point!

  29. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 9, 2013 at 10:13 PM

    Well, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush! And a real honest to goodness man who loves you (and you love him!) is much better than any fictional man I've ever met :)

  30. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 9, 2013 at 10:14 PM

    That is definitely one asset I enjoy! They're always hot - and built and...well, other things ;)

  31. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 9, 2013 at 10:14 PM

    That is awesome Linda! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you also!

  32. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 9, 2013 at 10:15 PM

    Maybe that's why the fictional men are so awesome, because they were created by awesomeness!

  33. I had a guy like the one you descrbed. He was so needy and was borderline obsessed. And that would be okay...if I felt the same way back. We dated for a few months, but unless you have the chemistry it never works out in the end. So I think fiction ruins it for me in the way that I can't be in a relationship with an amazing good guy if there's no instalove hot chemistry there from the start like in all the books I love. I don't really believe in growing to love someone. Maybe as friends, but not once you're already in the relationship. Does that make sense lol? So anyways my point is..the grass is always greener.

  34. Men ruin everything. Period. :P FUNNY post, Liz.. <3

  35. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 10, 2013 at 4:09 PM

    Yes!! They do!! Fictional, real, imaginary, blow up... ok, the blow up ones aren't so bad....

  36. I'll admit that some of the fictional men that I read in books drive me crazy, especially if they are overly possessive, but there are some aspects about them that I wish real men had. I'd love a man who was actually romantic and considered me to be his one and only...and if they happened to be a vampire or a shapeshifter, well that's an added bonus (yeah, not likely). :)

    I mean seriously, what's wrong with having a guy dote upon you from time to time? To have him make you breakfast in bed on the weekends, or treat you to a romantic getaway every once-in-a-while? I don't think such behavior from a guy is too much of a expect, really. If the price to have that is to put up with him turning furry for three nights out of the month due to the full moon, or to sacrifice a bit of blood to quench his thirst, I think it'd be worth it.

    I do have to wonder though, if we had our choice of fictional men, would we be content or would we still be desiring something better? It's great to dream for that "perfect man", but there's nothing wrong with the average joe either. I do love my fictional men, but I also love the guy I'm dating now and he's nothing like those guys I read about. And I'm okay with that. Truth be, when I think about it, I'd rather have him than any of my fictional men, because I know that if I had one of them, chances are I'd have every woman in town going after him...and I am not real big on sharing. lol

  37. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 10, 2013 at 10:31 PM

    But what if the new alpha guy was furry and fanged? maybe a smidge of demon in his past with a flair for the uber naughty? And then add on top of it street smarts mixed with a macguyver mentality... sweep me off my feet!

  38. Liz @ Fictional CandyMarch 10, 2013 at 10:35 PM

    See, my favorite alpha men aren't needy or obsessed in a bad way. These authors make it sound wonderful <3 lol.

  39. Mmmm tasty image there. =^.^= In the paranormal sense, I'd be okay with any combination. Historically speaking, he better be a Highlander! lol

  40. Great post Liz!! You crack me up!! Lol!! I am lucky enough to have a guy, and after being together for almost 20 years and married for 11 (anniversary was on the weekend) I would still give him up for my favourite book boyfriend!! lol .... but for now, I will do all the things I dream of doing with my Book Boyfriend with him instead, cos my book guy will never get here, so why should it just happen in my head.....

  41. Oh if only we could be sure it WOULD happen like that. Lol. Every now and again I'll be reading one of my romances in public and then look up at the nearest guy and literally sneer at him just out of crankiness.

    I refuse to settle with a man who doesn't make any effort.


Thank you for visiting Fictional Candy!