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Thursday, February 27, 2014

Guest Post by Connie L Smith, author of Emblazed

The Division Chronicles
Connie L Smith

After all the preparations, Nicholai’s warriors stand on the threshold of warfare, the demons entering the realm in battalions and the world unknowingly depending on the army’s success to continue intact. But the battle is only the beginning of deadly struggles, and the soldiers will soon realize how little they know, how many things are at stake, and how much they have to lose.

Love, hate, hope, despair, anguish, joy… The journey is a gauntlet of emotion and combat, threatening their resolve as much as their lives.

Will their training and ties be enough, or will the complications and the forthcoming evil forever cripple the world’s last hope of survival?

Hello everyone!  How is your Thursday going?  Mine is real good - but I gotta tell ya, I'm over winter!!!  So today I have an awesome guest post from Connie Smith, author of Emblazed.  Don't you just love that cover?  And the post is awesome, all Disney themed - some things that might make you go "hmmmmm!"
By Connie L Smith:

Let me preface this by saying that I love my Disney cartoons. Okay, that’s an understatement. Some of my favorite movies have come from Disney, and I’m not even a little ashamed of that fact. But have you ever really thought about some of the less-than-normal aspects of them? Because, if you do, you might find some very odd lessons to be learned and situations being had. Need proof? Here are ten things that Disney movies probably didn’t mean to impart to their viewers:

  1. First and foremost, you don’t have to worry about making judgment calls. You don’t need to get to know people to figure out their overall demeanor. Because apparently, on many occasions, everything you need to know is tied up in their names. The seven dwarves, Flotsam and Jetsam, Maleficent, Lady and the Tramp… You have no problem figuring out these characters. We know which of the dwarves will be happy and which will be sleepy. We know who’s the rebel in Lady and the Tramp’s relationship. Flotsam and Jetsam were pretty much doomed to be a villain’s pets. Seriously. Can you imagine a hero using those names? And with a name like Maleficent… Yeah, that’s not gonna be positive. So don’t worry about getting to know people or figuring out anything about them in depth. Just hear their names and make your assumptions there. It works in Disney movies!
  2. Deception is important… in heroes. I’m used to seeing this quality in villains, but no. According to Disney movies, cheaters will eventually prosper on occasion. Ariel tries to romance Eric incognito. Same goes for Aladdin with Jasmine. I mean, at least Ariel had the decency not to lie (okay, so she couldn’t speak, whatever), but Aladdin had this huge parade following him to solidify his lie of being a prince. Actually, come to think of it, all sorts of bad behaviors are present in the good guys. The Beast is a bully. And a kidnapper. In fact, it could be argued that he’s involved in a bit of a human trafficking scandal, since he exchanges Belle for her dad. Okay, maybe I should just cut this point off before things get too crazy…
  3. It’s important to be willing to work for what you want. And if you can find some animals to pawn said work off on, then by all means! You might have to snag them with a catchy song, but it’ll save you a whole lot of effort. I could comment on the questionable hygiene in play here, but since Snow White’s dishes were washed in a bathtub, hygiene isn’t exactly presented in a favorable light anyway. In the end, just ask yourself a simple question: Did someone else do most of this work for me? Yes? Success!
  4. Oh, and don’t worry if you can’t find animals to work for you. If that category of assistance isn’t in the cards or fails, you’ll probably have a fairy godmother, wizard, or genie show up and offer to fix whatever you can’t manage. When your evil stepsisters ruin the dress your rats prettied up for you, said fairy godmother will give you an even prettier dress and punish those rats for helping you by
    changing their forms and making them drag your pumpkin-carriage to a ball they can’t even get into. And be forewarned. These magical beings tend to a little… forgetful.
  5. Your Prince Charming is out there for you. Unfortunately, he’s probably cheating on you with your equal. Am I mistaken, or was Prince Charming (another giveaway name!!!) not Disney’s paired prince for both Snow White and Cinderella? Seriously? I’m supposed to be thrilled to pieces that this guy finally stumbled into my path, and he’s got another girl in another kingdom? At least this particular element of Disney cartoons faded away. Princes soon began getting different names. And Prince Philip looked nothing like Prince Charming. Oh, wait… I think he might have. So there you go. The love of your life, the man you should latch onto with every fiber of your being, is probably willing to cheat on you even if he has to change his name and dye his hair to do it. The romance is heartwarming. Truly.
  6. Book nerds and smart girls are odd. While you can still find contentment in life, be ready to live as the subject of ridicule until you find a little corner in the world where you’re accepted for the dork you are. Until that moment, you might as well surrender to having a village full of people stare at you while they sing in unison about your oddities. Oh, wait. They don’t do that? Huh. Good thing. It’d actually be hypocritical when you think about it. I’m not the one singing about how many eggs I need to buy, am I?
  7. If you don’t have a miniature tag-along, you’re probably doing something wrong. This can be an animal – Abu, Meeko, Flint, Pascal – or people. Like dwarves. And the little guy that followed Gaston around. But, much like the little guy that followed Gaston around, the ones that align themselves with villains are typically off in some way or another. Remember, Iago? So, basically, pick
    your tiny partner in crime, and be at ease knowing that the bad guys are really terrible at picking their sidekicks. It’s a mark in your favor!
  8. If you aren’t a good person, you’ll be turned into a llama. Or a beast. In fact, if you’re just associated with the wrong people, this particular devastation could carry over into your life as well. Although, for some reason, it shifts to inanimate objects. I guess it’s a secondary punishment? Which I can see. I’d rather be a llama than a teapot. Wouldn’t you? No legs… Way too breakable… But anyway. If you ally yourself with the less-than-pleasant elements of society, you might become a candlestick, or a clock, or a footstool. So choose your actions and your friends carefully, because you don’t want to be transformed into a Kleenex. Am I right?
  9. If your life becomes too complex, just burst into song. Don’t worry if the song you’re singing is from your head, and no one’s playing any music. It’ll all come together. Honest! And the overall reaction won’t be confusion at all. People will join in, and it’ll grow in elaborateness until you potentially have a crew of back-up singers and dancers! It isn’t like you’re doing something to merit strange looks like, say, reading.
  10. Live life passively. Hakuna Matata! No worries! Because, dear Simba, regardless of the fact that your dad died like, three hours ago, and you’re basically homeless and about to start on a life of eating bugs and missing both of your parents terribly… Wait, what? This is carefree? But at least Oliver & Company got it right. “Why Should I Worry?” I don’t know, dog with the sunglasses and scarf. What reason is there? You’re just dancing around in traffic as if these cars can’t kill you at any moment, and the little cat behind you is separated from his owner – not to mention almost being blown away by a
    vent. This doesn’t present much reason at all to worry. I mean, sure, Oliver might never get home, and you could get plowed into the pavement by a minivan, but other than that… Hmm… Scratch that. This one doesn’t make any sense either.

And there you have it. Ten messages Disney most likely didn’t intend to send to viewers. Still, the movies are enjoyable, so you know!

Thanks for reading, and please keep in mind that book one of The Division Chronicles (Essenced) is scheduled to be free from February 24th-28th. If you read it and like it, book two (Emblazed), should officially be on sale as of February 24th (thus the blog tour). In celebration, I’m planning to offer a giveaway each of the five days of this tour on Twitter, so follow me and hope to win! 

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